i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
sex in a hospital.. check
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
