You smell like stripper and shame
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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