Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
