I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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