Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
