I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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