he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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