since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I think a kid would responsible me up
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
