Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
