im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
