Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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