2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
