Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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