Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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