dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
