Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
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