i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
