I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
A bitchslap is in order.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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