this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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