Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
