his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
