She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
