Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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