I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
