69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
