So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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