I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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