He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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