TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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