wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
