it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
