ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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