i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
