he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
