And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
