that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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