We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
