I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
