wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
