how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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