can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
