i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
