Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
