I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
