just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
are you so shy because you have an std?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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