Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
