So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
