Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
