Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
