I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
well you can't waste a boner
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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