Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
