If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I need a burrito and a hug.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
