marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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